Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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