Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
