yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
