well you can't waste a boner
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
