You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
