I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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