I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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