He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
