he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
