I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
