I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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