Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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