Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
