She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
