the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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