his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
