my vag is so smooth its legendary
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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