you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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