I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
