Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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