Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
