blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
