i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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