i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
