Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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