i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
