Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
