he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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