If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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