You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
