Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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