Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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