woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
