I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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