I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
