i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
