its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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