i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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