college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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