dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
