Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
