He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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