Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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