no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
