After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
