you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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