im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
