id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
