Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
being pregnant is like rehab
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
