Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
